Right You Are! (If You Think So)
(Così è, se vi pare! -
1917)
(Così è, se vi pare!)
ACT III
The same scene. As the
curtain rises, LAUDISI is
sprawling in an easy chair,
reading a book. Through the
door that leads into the
parlor on the left comes the
confused murmur of many
voices.
The BUTLER appears in the
rear door, introducing the
police commissioner, CENTURI.
CENTURI is a tall, stiff,
scowling official, with a
decidedly professional air.
He is in the neighborhood of
forty.
The Butler. This way,
sir. I will call Signor
Agazzi at once.
Laudisi [drawing
himself up in his chair and
looking around]. Oh,
it's you, Commissioner! [He
rises hastily and recalls
the butler, who has stepped
out through the door.]
One moment, please! Wait! [To
CENTURI.] Anything new,
Commissioner?
Commissioner [stiffly].
Yes, something new!
Laudisi. Ah! Very
well. [To the BUTLER.]
Never mind. I'll call him
myself. [He motions with
his hand toward the door on
the left. The BUTLER bows
and withdraws.] You have
worked miracles,
Commissioner! You're the
savior of this town. Listen!
Do you hear them! You are
the lion of the place! How
does it feel to be the
father of your country? But
say, what you've discovered
is all solid fact?
Commissioner. We've
managed to unearth a few
people.
Laudisi. From Ponza's
town? People who know all
about him?
Commissioner. Yes!
And we have gathered from
them a few facts, -- not
many, perhaps, but well
authenticated.
Laudisi. Ah, that's
nice. Congratulations! For
example . . .
Commissioner. For
example? Why, for instance,
here . . . well, here are
all the communications I
have received. Read 'em
yourself! [From an inner
pocket he draws a yellow
envelope, opened at one end,
from which he takes a
document and hands it to
LAUDIsI.]
Laudisi. Interesting,
I am sure. Very interesting!
. . . [He stands, reading
the document carefully,
commenting from time to time
with exclamations in
different tones. First an
"ah" of satisfaction, then
another "ah" which
attenuates this enthusiasm
very much. Finally an "eh"
of disappointment, which
leads to another "eh" of
complete disgust.] Why,
no, what's all this amount
to, Commissioner?
Commissioner. Well,
it's what we were able to
find out.
Laudisi. But this
doesn't prove anything, you
understand! It leaves
everything just where it was.
There's nothing of any
significance whatever here.
[He looks at the
COMMISSIONER for a moment
and then, as though suddenly
making up his mind, he says:]
I wonder, Commissioner,
would you like to do
something really great --
render a really
distinguished service to
this town; and meanwhile lay
up a treasure in heaven?
Commissioner [looking
at him in perplexity].
What are you thinking of,
sir?
Laudisi. I'll explain.
Here, please, take this
chair! [He sets the chair
in front of AGAZZI's desk.]
I advise you, Mr.
Commissioner, to tear up
this sheet of paper that you've
brought and which has
absolutely no significance
at all. But here on this
other piece of paper, why
don't you write down
something that will be
precise and clear?
Commissioner. Why . .
. why . . . myself? What do
you mean? What should I
write?
Laudisi [insisting].
Just say something --
anything -- that these two
old acquaintances of Ponza's
whom you managed to get hold
of might have said. Come,
Commissioner, rise to the
occasion! Do something for
the commonwealth! Bring this
town back to normal again!
Don't you see what they are
after? They all want the
truth -- a truth that is:
Something specific;
something concrete! They
don't care what it is. All
they want is something
categorical, something that
speaks plainly! Then they'll
quiet down.
Commissioner. The
truth -- a truth? Excuse me,
have I understood you
clearly? You were suggesting
that I commit a forgery? I
am astonished that you dare
propose such a thing, and
when I say I am astonished,
I'm not saying half what I
actually feel. Be so good as
to tell the Commendatore
that I am here!
Laudisi [dropping
his arms dejectedly]. As
you will, Commissioner!
[He steps over to the
door on the left. As he
draws the portières and
swings the door more widely
open, the voices become
louder and more confused. As
he steps through, there is a
sudden silence. The POLICE
COMMISSIONER stands waiting
with a satisfied air,
twirling one of the points
of his mustache. All of a
sudden, there is commotion
and cheering in the next
room. Cries of delight and
applause, mixed with
handclapping. The POLICE
COMMISSIONER comes out of
his reverie and looks up
with an expression of
surprise on his features, as
though not understanding
what it's all about. Through
the door to the left come
AGAZZI, SIRELLI, LAUDISI,
AMALIA, DINA, SIGNORA
SIRELLI, SIGNORA CINI,
SIGNORA NENNI, and many
other ladies and gentlemen.
AGAZZI leads the procession.
They are all still talking
and laughing excitedly,
clapping their hands, and
crying "I told you so! Fine!
Fine! Good! How wonderful!
Now we'll know!" etc.]
Agazzi [stepping
forward cordially]. Ah,
my dear Centuri, I was sure
you could! Nothing ever gets
by our chief!
Company. Fine! Good!
What did you find out! Have
you brought something? Is it
she? Is it he? Tell us?
Commissioner [who
doesn't yet understand what
all the excitement is about.
For him it has been a mere
matter of routine]. Why,
no . . . why, Commendatore,
simply . . . you understand
. . .
Agazzi. Hush! Give
him a chance! . . .
Commissioner. I have done my
best. I . . . but what did
Signor Laudisi tell you?
Agazzi. He told us
that you have brought news,
real news!
Sirelli. Specific
data, clear, precise! . . .
Laudisi [amplifying],
. . . not many, perhaps, but
well authenticated! The best
they've managed to trace!
Old neighbors of Ponza, you
see; people well acquainted
with him . . .
Everybody. Ah! At
last! At last! Now we'll
know! At last!
[The COMMISSIONER hands
the document to AGAZZI.]
Commissioner. There
you have it, Commendatore!
Agazzi [opening
the sheet, as all crowd
around him]. Let's have
a look at it!
Commissioner. But you,
Signor Laudisi . . .
Laudisi. Don't
interrupt, please, the
document speaks for itself!
Agazzi, you read it.
Agazzi [to LAUDISI].
But give me a chance, won't
you? Please! Please! Now!
There you are!
Laudisi. Oh, I don't
care. I've read the thing
already.
Everybody [crowding
around him]. You've read
it already? What did it say?
Is it he? Is it she?
Laudisi [speaking
very formally]. There is
no doubt whatever, as a
former neighbor of Ponza's
testifies, that the woman
Frola was once in a
sanatorium!
The Group [cries
of disappointment]. Oh
really! Too bad! Too bad!
Signora Sirelli.
Signora Frola, did you say?
Dina. Are you sure it
was she?
Agazzi. Why, no! Why,
no, it doesn't say anything
of the kind! [Coming
forward and waving the
document triumphantly.]
It doesn't say anything of
the kind! [General
excitement.]
Everybody. Well, what
does it say? What does it
say? Laudisi [insisting].
It does too! It says "the
Frola woman" -- the Frola
woman, categorically.
Agazzi. Nothing of
the kind! The witness says
that he thinks she was in a
sanatorium. He does not
assert that she was.
Besides, there is another
point. He doesn't know
whether this Frola woman who
was in a sanatorium was the
mother or the daughter, the
first wife, that is!
Everybody [with
relief]. Ah!
Laudisi [insistingly].
But I say he does. It must
be the mother! Who else
could it be?
Sirelli. No, of
course, it's the daughter!
It's the daughter!
Signora Sirelli. Just
as the old lady said
herself!
Amalia. Exactly! That
time when they took her away
by force from her husband! .
. .
Dina. Yes, she says
that her daughter was taken
to a home.
Agazzi. Furthermore,
observe another thing. The
witness does not really
belong to their town. He
says that he used to go
there frequently, but that
he does not remember
particularly. He remembers
that he heard something or
other! . . .
Sirelli. Ah! How can
you depend on such a man's
testimony? Nothing but
hearsay!
Laudisi. But, excuse
me! If all you people are so
sure that Signora Frola is
right, what more do you
want? Why do you go looking
for documents? This is all
nonsense!
Sirelli. If it
weren't for the fact that
the prefect has accepted
Ponza's side of the story,
I'll tell you . . .
Commissioner. Yes,
that's true. The prefect
said as much to me . . .
Agazzi. Yes, but
that's because the prefect
has never talked with the
old lady who lives next
door.
Signora Sirelli. You
bet he hasn't. He talked
only with Ponza.
Sirelli. But, for
that matter, there are other
people of the same mind as
the prefect.
A Gentleman. That is
my situation, my situation
exactly. Yes sir! Because I
know of just such a case
where a mother went insane
over the death of her
daughter and insists that
the daughter's husband will
not allow her to see the
girl. The same case to a T.
A Second Gentleman.
Not exactly to a T! Not
exactly to a T! In the case
you mention the man didn't
marry again. Here, this man
Ponza is living with another
woman . . .
Laudisi [his face
brightening with a new idea
that has suddenly come to
him]. I have it, ladies
and gentlemen! Did you hear
that? It's perfectly simple.
Dear me, as simple as
Columbus's egg!
Everybody. What?
What? What? What?
The Second Gentleman.
What did I say? I didn't
realize it was important.
Laudisi. Just a
moment, ladies and
gentlemen! [Turning to
AGAZZI.] Is the prefect
coming here, by chance?
Agazzi. Yes, we were
expecting him. But what's
the new idea?
Laudisi. Why, you
were bringing him here to
talk with Signora Frola. So
far, he is standing by
Ponza. When he has talked
with the old lady, he'll
know whether to believe
Ponza or her. That's your
idea! Well, I've thought of
something better that the
prefect can do. Something
that only he can do.
Everybody. What is
it? What is it? What is it?
Laudisi [triumphantly].
Why, this wife of Ponza's,
of course . . . at least,
the woman he is living with!
What this gentleman said
suggested the idea to me.
Sirelli. Get the
second woman to talk? Of
course! Of course!
Dina. But how can we,
when she is kept under lock
and key?
Sirelli. Why, the
prefect can use his
authority -- order her to
speak!
Amalia. Certainly,
she is the one who can clear
up the whole mystery.
Signora Sirelli. I
don't believe it. She'll say
just what her husband tells
her to say.
Laudisi. She must
speak before the prefect. Of
course!
Sirelli. She must
speak with the prefect
privately, all by himself.
Agazzi. And the
prefect, as the final
authority over the man, will
insist that the wife make a
formal explicit statement
before him. Of course, of
course! What do you say,
Commissioner?
Commissioner. Why
certainly, there's no doubt
that if the prefect were so
inclined . . .
Agazzi. It is the
only way out of it, after
all. We ought to phone him
and explain that he needn't
go to the trouble of coming
here. You attend to that,
will you, Commissioner?
Commissioner. Very
glad to! My compliments,
ladies! Good afternoon,
gentlemen!
Signora Sirelli. A
good idea for once, Laudisi.
Dina. Oh, uncle, how
clever of you! Wise old
uncle!
The Company. The only
way out of it! Yes! Yesl
Fine! At last!
Agazzi. Curious none
of us thought of that
before!
Sirelli. Not so
curious! None of us ever set
eyes on the woman. She might
as well be in another world,
poor girl.
Laudisi [as though
suddenly impressed by this
latter reflection]. In
another world? Why yes, --
are you really sure there is
such a woman?
Amalia. Oh I say!
Please, please, Lamberto!
Sirelli [with a
laugh]. You mean to say
you think there is no such
woman?
Laudisi. How can you
be sure there is? You can't
guarantee it!
Dina. But the old
lady sees her and talks with
her every day.
Signora Sirelli. And
Ponza says that, too. They
both agree on that point!
Laudisi. Yes, yes. I
don't deny that. But just a
moment! To be strictly
logical: there must be a
phantom in that house.
All. A phantom?
Agazzi. Oh, go on
with you!
Laudisi. Let me
finish. -- It's the phantom
of the second wife, if
Signora Frola is right. It's
the phantom of the daughter,
if Signor Ponza is right. It
remains to be seen if what
is a phantom for him and her
is actually a person for
herself. At this point it
seems to me there's some
reason to doubt it.
Amalia. Oh, come on!
You'd like us all to be as
mad as you are!
Signora Nenni.
Heavens: how he makes my
flesh creep!
Signora Cini. I can't
think why you enjoy
frightening us like this!
All. Nonsense! It's a
joke, a joke!
Sirelli. She's a
woman of flesh and bones,
rest assured. And we'll have
her talk, we'll have her
talk!
Agazzi. You suggested
it yourself, didn't you? --
having her talk with the
prefect?
Laudisi. Certainly
the woman from that house
should talk with the prefect
-- if there is such a woman
-- and if she is a woman!
Signora Sirelli. Dear
me, dear me! That man simply
drives me mad.
Laudisi. Well,
supposing we wait and see!
Everybody. Well, who is she
then? But people have seen
her! His wife! On the
balcony! She writes letters!
Police Commissioner [in
the heat of the confusion
comes into the room,
excitedly announcing].
The prefect is coming! The
prefect!
Agazzi. What do you
mean? Coming here? But you
went to . . .
Commissioner. Why
yes, but I met him hardly a
block away. He was coming
here; and Ponza is with him.
Sirelli. Ah, Ponza!
Agazzi. Oh, if Ponza
is with him, I doubt whether
he is coming here. They are
probably on their way to the
old lady's. Please, Centuri,
you just wait on the landing
there and ask him if he
won't step in here as he
promised?
Commissioner. Very
well! I'll do so! [He
withdraws hurriedly through
the door in the rear.]
Agazzi. Won't you
people just step into the
other room?
Signora Sirelli. But
remember now, be sure to
make him see the point! It's
the only way out, the only
way.
Amalia [at the
door to the left]. This
way, ladies, if you please!
Agazzi. Won't you
just stay here, Sirelli; and
you, too, Lamberto?
[All the others go out
through the door to the
left.]
Agazzi [to LAUDISI].
But let me do the talking,
won't you!
Laudisi. Oh, as for
that, don't worry. In fact,
if you prefer, I'll go into
the other room . . .
Agazzi. No, no, it's
better for you to be here.
Ah, here he is now!
[THE PREFECT is a man of
about sixty, tall, thick
set, good natured, affable.]
Prefect. Ah, Agazzi,
glad to see you. How goes
it, Sirelli? Good to see you
again, Laudisi. [He
shakes hands all around.]
Agazzi [motioning
toward a chair]. I hope
you won't mlnd my having
asked you to come here.
Prefect. No, I was
coming, just as I promised
you!
Agazzi [noticing
the POLICE COMMISSIONER at
the door]. Oh, I'm sorry,
Commissioner! Please come
in! Here, have a chair!
Prefect [good-naturedly
to SIRELLI]. By the way,
Sirelli, they tell me that
you've gone half nutty over
this blessed affair of our
new secretary.
Sirelli. Oh, no,
governor, believe me. I'm
not the only one! The whole
village is worked up.
Agazzi. And that's
putting it very mildly.
Prefect. What's it
all about? What's it all
about? Good heavens!
Agazzi. Of course,
governor, you're probably
not posted on the whole
business. The old iady lives
here next door. . . .
Prefect. Yes, I
understand so.
Sirelli. No, one
moment, please, governor.
You haven't talked with the
poor old lady yet.
Prefect. I was on my
way to see her. [Turning
to AGAZZI.] I had
promised you to see her
here, but Ponza came and
begged me, almost on his
knees, to see her in her own
house. His idea was to put
an end to all this talk
that's going around. Do you
think he would have done
such a thing if he weren't
absolutely sure?
Agazzi. Of course,
he's sure! Because when
she's talking in front of
him, the poor woman . . .
Sirelli [suddenly
getting in his oar]. She
says just what he wants her
to say, governor; which
proves that she is far from
being as mad as he claims.
Agazzi. We had a
sample of that, here,
yesterday, all of us.
Prefect. Why, I
understand so. You see he's
trying all the time to make
her believe he's mad. He
warned me of that. And how
else could he keep the poor
woman in her illusion? Do
you see any way? All this
talk of yours is simply
torture to the poor fellow!
Believe me, pure torture!
Sirelli. Very well,
governor! But supposing she
is the one who is trying to
keep him in the idea that
her daughter is dead; so as
to reassure him that his
wife will not be taken from
him again. In that case, you
see, governor, it's the old
lady who is being tortured,
and not Ponza!
Agazzi. The moment
you see the possibility of
that, governor . . . Well,
you ought to hear her talk;
but all by herself, when
he's not around. Then you'd
see the possibility all
right . . .
Sirelli. Just as we
all see it!
Prefect. Oh, I
wonder! You don't seem to me
so awfully sure; and for my
part, I'm quite willing to
confess that I'm not so sure
myself. How about you,
Laudisi?
Laudisi. Sorry,
governor, I promised Agazzi
here to keep my mouth shut.
Agazzi [protesting
angrily]. Nothing of the
kind! How dare you say that?
When the governor asks you a
plain question . . . It's
true I told him not to talk,
but do you know why? He's
been doing his best for the
past two days to keep us all
rattled so that we can't
find out anything.
Laudisi. Don't you
believe him, governor. On
the contrary. I've been
doing my best to bring these
people to common sense.
Sirelli. Common sense!
And do you know what he
calls common sense?
According to him it is not
possible to discover the
truth; and now he's been
suggesting that Ponza is
living not with a woman, but
with a ghost!
Top
of page
Prefect [enjoying the
situation]. That's a new one!
Quite an idea! How do you make that
out, Laudisi?
Agazzi. Oh, I say! . . . You
know how he is. There's no getting
anywhere with him!
Laudisi. I leave it to you,
governor. I was the one who first
suggested bringing you here.
Prefect. And do you think,
Laudisi, I ought to see the old lady
next door?
Laudisi. No, I advise no such
thing, governor. In my judgment you
are doing very well in depending on
what Ponza tells you.
Prefect. Ah, I see! Because
you, too, think that Ponza . . .
Laudisi. No, not at all . . .
because I'm also satisfied to have
all these people stand on what
Signora Frola says, if that does
them any good.
Agazzi. So you see, eh,
governor? That's what you call
arguing, eh?
Prefect. Just a moment! Let
me understand! [Turning to
LAUDISI.] So you say we can also
trust what the old lady says?
Laudisi. Of course you can!
Implicitly! And so you can depend
upon what Ponza says. Implicitly!
Prefect. Excuse me, I don't
follow you!
Sirelli. But man alive, if
they both say the exact opposite of
each other! . . .
Agazzi [angrily and with
heat]. Listen to me, governor,
please. I am prejudiced neither in
favor of the old lady nor in favor
of Ponza. I recognize that he may be
right and that she may be right. But
we ought to settle the matter, and
there is only one way to do it.
Sirelli. The way that Laudisi
here suggested.
Prefect. He suggested it?
That's interesting? What is it?
Agazzi. Since we haven't been
able to get any positive proof,
there is only one thing left. You,
as Ponza's final superior, as the
man who can fire him if need be, can
obtain a statement from his wife.
Prefect. Make his wife talk,
you mean?
Sirelli. But not in the
presence of her husband, you
understand.
Agazzi. Yes, making sure she
tells the truth!
Sirelli. . . . tell whether
she's the daughter of Signora Frola,
that is, as we think she must be . .
.
Agazzi. . . . or a second
wife who is consenting to
impersonate the daughter of Signora
Frola, as Ponza claims.
Prefect. . . . and as I
believe myself, without a shadow of
doubt! [Thinking a moment.]
Why, I don't see any objection to
having her talk. Who could object?
Ponza? But Ponza, as I know very
well, is more eager than anybody
else to have this talk quieted down.
He's all upset over this whole
business, and said he was willing to
do anything I proposed. I'm sure he
will raise no objection. So if it
will ease the minds of you people
here . . . Say, Centuri [The
POLICE COMMISSIONER rises.],
won't you just ask Ponza to step in
here a moment? He's next door with
his mother-in-law.
Commissioner. At once, Your
Excellency! [He bows and
withdraws through the door at the
rear.]
Agazzi. Oh well, if he
consents . . .
Prefect. He'll consent, all
right. And we'll be through with it
in a jiffy. We'll bring her right in
here so that you people . . .
Agazzi. Here, in my house?
Sirelli. You think he'll let
his wife come in here?
Prefect. Just leave it to me,
just leave it to me! 1 prefer to
have her right here because,
otherwise you see, you people would
always suppose that I and Ponza had
. . .
Agazzi. Oh, please, governor,
no! That's not fair!
Sirelli. Oh, no, governor, we
trust you implicitly!
Prefect. Oh, I'm not
offended, not at all! But you know
very well that I'm on his side in
this matter; and you'd always be
thinking that to hush up any
possible scandal in connection with
a man in my office . . . No, you
see. I must insist on having the
interview here . . . Where's your
wife, Agazzi?
Agazzi. In the other room,
governor, with some other ladies.
Prefect. Other ladies? Aha, I
see! [Laughing.] You have a
regular detective bureau here, eh? [The
POLICE COMMISSIONER enters with
PONZA.]
Commissioner. May I come in?
Signor Ponza is here. Prefect.
Thanks, Centuri. This way, Ponza,
come right in! [PONZA bows.]
Agazzi. Have a chair, Ponza.
[PONZA bows and sits down.]
Prefect. I believe you know
these gentlemen? [PONZA rises and
bows.]
Agazzi. Yes, I introduced
them yesterday. And this is Laudisi,
my wife's brother. [PONZA bows.]
Prefect. I venture to disturb
you, my dear Ponza, just to tell you
that here with these friends of mine
. . . [At the first words of the
prefect, PONZA evinces the greatest
nervousness and agitation.]
Prefect. Was there something
you wanted to say, Ponza?
Ponza. Yes, there is
something I want to say, governor. I
want to present my resignation here
and now.
Prefect. Oh, my dear fellow,
I'm so sorry! But just a few moments
ago down at the office you were
talking . . .
Ponza. Oh, really, this is an
outrage, governor! This is just
plain persecution, plain
persecution!
Prefect. Oh, now, don't take
it that way, old man. See here.
These good people . . .
Agazzi. Persecution, did you
say? On my part? . . . Ponza. On the
part of all of you! And I am sick
and tired of it! I am going to
resign, governor. I refuse to submit
to this ferocious prying into my
private affairs which will end by
undoing a work of love that has cost
me untold sacrifice these past two
years. You don't know, governor!
Why, I've treated that dear old lady
in there just as tenderly as though
she were my own mother. And
yesterday I had to shout at her in
the most cruel and terrible way!
Why, I found her just now so worked
up and excited that . . .
Agazzi. That's queer! While
she was in here Signora Frola was
quite mistress of herself. If
anybody was worked up, Ponza, it was
you. And even now, if I might say .
. .
Ponza. But you people don't
know what you're making me go
through!
Prefect. Oh, come, come, my
dear fellow, don't take it so hard.
After all, I'm here, am I not? And
you know I've always stood by you!
And I always will!
Ponza. Yes, governor, and I
appreciate your kindness, really!
Prefect. And then you say
that you're as fond of this poor old
lady as you would be if she were
your own mother. Well, now, just
remember that these good people here
seem to be prying into your affairs
because they, too, are fond of her!
. . .
Ponza. But they're killing
her, I tell you, governor! They're
killing her, and I warned them in
advance.
Prefect. Very well, Ponza,
very well! Now we'll get through
with this matter in no time. See
here, it is all very simple. There
is one way that you can convince
these people without the least doubt
in the world. Oh, not me -- I don't
need convincing. I believe you.
Ponza. But they won't believe
me, no matter what I say.
Agazzi. That's not so! When
you came here after your
mother-in-law's first visit and told
us that she was mad, all of us . . .
well, we were surprised, but we
believed you. [Turning to the
PREFECT.] But after he left, you
understand, the old lady came back .
. .
Prefect. Yes, yes, I know. He
told me. [Turning to PONZA again.]
She came back here and said that she
was trying to do with you exactly
what you say you were trying to do
with her. It's natural, isn't it,
that people hearing both stories,
should be somewhat confused. Now you
see that these good people, in view
of what your mother-in-law says,
can't possibly be sure of what you
say. So there you are. Now, such
being the case, you and your
mother-in-law -- why, it's perfectly
simple -- you two just step aside.
Now you know you're telling the
truth, don't you? So do I! So you
can't possibly object to their
hearing the testimony of the only
person who does know, aside from you
two.
Ponza. And who may that be,
pray?
Prefect. Why, your wife!
Ponza. My wife! [Decisively
and angrily.] Ah, no! I refuse!
Never in the world! Never!
Prefect. And why not, old
man?
Ponza. Bring my wife here to
satisfy the curiosity of these
strangers?
Prefect [sharply]. And
my curiosity, too, if you don't
mind! What objection can you have?
Ponza. Oh, but governor, no!
My wife! Here? No! Why drag my wife
in? These people ought to believe
me!
Prefect. But don't you see,
my dear fellow, that the course
you're taking now is just calculated
to discredit what you say?
Agazzi. His mistake in the
first place, governor, was trying to
prevent his mother-in-law from
coming here and calling -- a double
discourtesy, mark you, to my wife
and to my daughter!
Ponza. But what in the name
of God do you people want of me?
You've been nagging and nagging at
that poor old woman next door; and
now you want to get your clutches on
my wife! No, governor! I refuse to
submit to such an indignity! She
owes nothing to anybody. My wife is
not making visits in this town. You
say you believe me, governor? That's
enough for me! Here's my
resignation! I'll go out and look
for another job!
Prefect. No, no, Ponza, I
must speak plainly. In the first
place I have always treated you on
the square; and you have no right to
speak in that tone of voice to me.
In the second place you are
beginning to make me doubt your word
by refusing to furnish me -- not
other people -- but me, the evidence
that I have asked for in your
interest, evidence, moreover, that
so far as I can see, cannot possibly
do you any harm. It seems to me that
my colleague here, Signor Agazzi,
can ask a lady to come to his house!
But no, if you prefer, we'll go and
see her.
Ponza. So you really insist,
governor?
Prefect. I insist, but as I
told you, in your own interest. You
realize, besides, that I might have
the legal right to question her . .
.
Ponza. I see, I see! So
that's it! An official
investigation! Well, why not, after
all? I will bring my wife here, just
to end the whole matter. But how can
you guarantee me that this poor old
lady next door will not catch sight
of her?
Prefect. Why, I hadn't
thought of that! She does live right
next door.
Agazzi [speaking up] .
We are perfectly willing to go to
Signor Ponza's house.
Ponza. No, no, I was just
thinking of you people. I don't want
you to play any more tricks on me.
Any mistakes might have the most
frightful consequences, set her
going again!
Agazzi. You're not very fair
to us, Ponza, it seems to me.
Prefect. Or you might bring
your wife to my office, rather . . .
Ponza. No, no! Since you're
going to question her anyway, we
might as well get through with it.
We'll bring her here, right here.
I'll keep an eye on my mother-in-law
myself. We'll have her here right
away, governor, and get an end of
this nonsense once and for all, once
and for all! [He hurries away
through the rear exit.]
Prefect. I confess I was not
expecting so much opposition on his
part.
Agazzi. Ah, you'll see. He'll
go and cook up with his wife just
what she's to say!
Prefect. Oh, don't worry as
to that! I'll question the woman
myself.
Sirelli. But he's more
excited than he's ever been before.
Prefect. Well, I confess I
never saw him just in this state of
mind. Perhaps it is the sense of
outrage he feels in having to bring
his wife . . .
Sirelli. In having to let her
loose for once, you ought to say!
Prefect. A man isn't
necessarily mad because he wants to
keep an eye on his wife.
Agazzi. Of course he says
it's to protect her from the
mother-in-law.
Prefect. I wasn't thinking of
just that -- he may be jealous of
the woman!
Sirelli. Jealous to the
extent of refusing her a servant?
For you know, don't you, he makes
his wife do all the housework?
Agazzi. And he does all the
marketing himself every morning.
Commissioner. That's right,
governor! I've had him shadowed. An
errand boy from the market carries
the stuff as far as the door.
Sirelli. But he never lets
the boy inside.
Prefect. Dear me, dear me! He
excused himself for that servant
business when I took the matter up
with him.
Laudisi. And that's
information right from the source!
Prefect. He says he does it
to save money.
Laudisi. He has to keep two
establishments on one salary.
Sirelli. Oh, we weren't
criticizing how he runs his house;
but I ask you as a matter of common
sense: he is a man of some position,
and do you think that this second
wife of his, as he calls her, who
ought to be a lady, would consent to
do all the work about the house? . .
.
Agazzi. The hardest and most
disagreeable work, you understand .
. .
Sirelli. . . . just out of
consideration for the mother of her
husband's first wife?
Agazzi. Oh, I say, governor,
be honest now! That doesn't seem
probable, does it?
Prefect. I confess it does
seem queer . . .
Laudisi. . . . in case this
second woman is an ordi. nary woman!
Prefect. Yes, but let's be
frank. It doesn't seem reasonable.
But yet, one might say -- well, you
could explain it as generosity on
her part, and even better, as
jealousy on his part. Mad or not
mad, there is no denying that he's
jealous!
[A confused clamor of voices is
heard from the next door.]
Agazzi. My, I wonder what's
going on in there!
[AMALIA enters from the door on
the left in a state of great
excitement.]
Amalia. Signora Frola is
here!
Agazzi. Impossible! How in
the world did she get in? Who sent
for her?
Amalia. Nobody! She came of
her own accord!
Prefect. Oh, no, please --
just a moment! No! Send her away,
madam, please!
Agazzi. We've got to get rid
of her. Don't let her in here! We
must absolutely keep her out!
[SIGNORA FROLA appears at the
door on the left, trembling,
beseeching, weeping, a handkerchief
in her hand. The people in the next
room are crowding around behind her.]
Signora Frola. Oh, please,
please! You tell them, Signor
Agazzi! Don't let them send me away!
Agazzi. But you must go away,
madam! We simply can't allow you to
be here now!
Signora Frola [desperately].
Why? Why? [Turning to AMALIA.]
I appeal to you, Signora Agazzi.
Amalia. But don't you see?
The prefect is there! They're having
an important meeting.
Signora Frola. Oh, the
prefect! Please, governor, please! I
was intending to go and see you.
Prefect. No, I am so sorry,
madam. I can't see you just now! You
must go away!
Signora Frola. Yes, I am
going away. I am going to leave town
this very day! I am going to leave
town and never come back again!
Agazzi. Oh, we didn't mean
that, my dear Signora Frola. We
meant that we couldn't see you here,
just now, in this room. Do me a
favor, please! You can see the
governor by and by.
Signora Frola. But why? I
don't understand! What's happened!
Agazzi. Why, your son-in-law
will soon be here! There, now do you
see?
Signora Frola. Oh, he's
coming here? Oh, yes, in that case .
. . Yes, yes,...I'll go! But there
was something I wanted to say to you
people. You must stop all this. You
must let us alone. You think you are
helping me. You are trying to do me
a favor; but really, what you're
doing is working me a great wrong.
I've got to leave town this very day
because he must not be aroused. What
do you want of him anyway? What are
you trying to do to him? Why are you
having him come here? Oh, Mr.
Governor . . .
Prefect. Come, Signora Frola,
don't worry, don't worry. I'll see
you by and by and explain
everything. You just step out now,
won't you?
Amalia. Please, Signora Frola
. . . yes, that's right! Come with
me!
Signora Frola. Oh, my dear
Signora Agazzi, you are trying to
rob me of the one comfort I had in
life, the chance of seeing my
daughter once in a while, at least
from a distance! [She begins to
weep.]
Prefect. What in the world
are you thinking of? We are not
asking you to leave town. We just
want you to leave this room, for the
time being. There, now do you
understand?
Signora Frola. But it's on
his account, governor . . . it's on
his account I was coming to ask you
to help him! It was on his account,
not on mine!
Prefect. There, there,
everything will be all right. We'll
take care of him. And we'll have
this whole business settled in a
jiffy.
Signora Frola. But how . . .
how can I be sure? I can see that
everybody here hates him. They are
trying to do something to him.
Prefect. No, no, not at all!
And even if they were, I would look
after him. There, there, don't
worry, don't worry!
Signora Frola. Oh, so you
believe him? Oh, thank you; thank
you, sir! That means that at least
you understand!
Prefect. Yes, yes, madam, I
understand, I understand! And I
cautioned all these people here.
It's a misfortune that came to him
long, long ago. He's all right now!
He's all right now!
Signora Frola. . . . Only he
must not go back to all those
things.
Prefect. You're right, you're
quite right, Signora Frola, but as I
told you, I understand!
Signora Frola. Yes, governor,
that's it! If he compels us to live
this way -- wells what does it
matter. That doesn't do anybody any
harm so long as we're satisfied, and
my daughter is happy this way.
That's enough for me, and for her!
But you'll look after us, governor.
They mustn't spoil anything.
Otherwise there's nothing left for
me except to leave town and never
see her again -- never, not even
from a distance. You must not
irritate him. You must leave him
alone. Oh, please!
[At this moment a wave of
surprise, anxiety, dismay, sweeps
over the company. Everybody falls
silent and turns to the door.
Suppressed exclamations are audible.]
Voices. Oh! Oh! Look! There
she is! Oh! Oh!
Signora Frola [noticing
the change in people, and groaning,
all of a tremble]. What's the
matter? What's the matter?
[The COMPANY divides to either
hand. A LADY has appeared at the
door in back. She is dressed in deep
mourning and her face is concealed
with a thick, black, impenetrable
veil.]
Signora Frola [uttering a
piercing shriek of joy]. Oh,
Lena! Lena! Lena! Lena!
[She dashes forward and throws
her arms about the veiled woman with
the passionate hysteria of a mother
who has not embraced her daughter
for years and years. But at the same
time from beyond the door in the
rear another piercing cry comes.
PONZA dashes into the room.]
Ponza. No! Julia! Julia!
Julia!
[At his voice SIGNORA PONZA draws
up stiffly in the arms of SIGNORA
FROLA who is clasping her tightly.
PONZA notices that his mother-in-law
is thus desperately entwined about
his wife and he shrieks desperately.]
Ponza. Cowards! Liars! I knew
you would! I knew you would! It is
just like the lot of you!
Signora Ponza [turning her
veiled head with a certain austere
solemnity toward her husband].
Don't be afraid! Just take her away!
Go!
[SIGNORA FROLA, at these words,
turns to her son-in-law and humbly,
tremblingly, goes over and embraces
him.]
Signora Frola. Yes, yes, you
poor boy, come with me, come with
me!
[Their arms about each other's
waists, and holding each other up
affectionately, PONZA and his
mother-in-law withdraw through the
rear door. They are both weeping.
Profound silence in the company. ALL
those present stand there with their
eyes fixed upon the departing couple.
As SIGNORA FROLA and PONZA are lost
from view, all eyes turn expectantly
upon the veiled lady. Some of the
women are weeping.]
Signora Ponza [having
looked at them through her veil,
speaking with dark solemnity].
What else do you want of me, after
this, ladies and gentlemen? There is
a misfortune here, as you see, which
must stay hidden: otherwise the
remedy which our compassion has
found cannot avail.
The Prefect [moved].
We want to respect your compassions
madam. It's only that we'd like you
to tell us . .
Signora Ponza [slowly, and
with clear articulation]. Tell
you what? The truth? Simply this: I
am the daughter of Signora Frola . .
.
All [with a happy intake
of breath]. Ah!
Signora Ponza. . . . and the
second wife of Signor Ponza . . .
All [amazed and
disenchanted, quietly]. . . .
What?
Signora Ponza [continuing].
. . . and, for myself, I am nobody!
The Prefect. No, no, madam,
for yourself you must be either one
or the other!
Signora Ponza. No! I am she
whom you believe me to be. [She
looks at them all through her veil
for a moment, then leaves. Silence.]
Laudisi. And there, my
friends, you have the truth! [With
a look of derisive defiance at them
all.] Are you satisfied? [He
bursts out laughing.]
Curtain
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